The Power of Consistency: Watering Your Garden and Your Relationships
August in Texas. The garden is one of two things: a crispy plot of good intentions or an out of control jumanji of vegetation. The sun is a scorcher here so in this pivotal month, one essential task reigns supreme: watering. Every evening after dinner Joe and little Bit wish me goodnight as I head out the door with water jug in hand because that basil plant on the patio table has started to droop and it’s a tell-tale sign that it’s time to water. Watering is my summer time meditation. In between the smacking of thirsty mosquitos, that is. In the quiet dusk with the sun setting, watching the water pitter-patter on the soil around my plant babies, it occurred to me that just as our gardens need consistent attention to thrive, our relationships also require regular, thoughtful care. We’re also at the halfway mark of the year, and if you set relationship goals, like I did, it’s time to check in. Are they thriving like the volunteer cantaloupe that came up and has defied all odds of nature? Are they drooping a bit like my basil and giving the signal they need some water? If they’re emulating my basil, let’s talk rituals.
Rituals. The set up for success.
In the garden, watering is not a one-time task but a daily ritual. It’s a gentle reminder that the most beautiful blooms emerge from well-nourished roots. Similarly, relationships flourish when we invest time and effort consistently. It's the small, everyday gestures. The "good morning" texts, the Monday “happy mail” note, the comforting hugs (did you know the average person needs 8 hugs a day?). These fortify the foundation of our connections.
Just as we wouldn't expect a parched plant to suddenly spring to life after one splash of water, we can't expect relationships to thrive on sporadic acts of kindness. Consistency is key. It’s about showing up, being present, and offering our love and support regularly. If we set up a ritual and practice it, then it gets easier because it requires less brain energy (called ATP). We know what we’re doing and when. Then after a little while, stuff just gets done, almost on autopilot. (It’s like having a sprinkler system installed.) Happy Mail Monday is no accident. It’s a watering ritual.
As a side note, this applies to the relationship we have with ourselves too. This relationship relies even more strongly on daily rituals. The ones I wither without are: quiet morning coffee with God’s love letter, meditation, movement, journaling and prayer. These are what fills my cup for the day so I can grow and produce good fruit. Which is why I created some small journals to nurture that relationship too.
The Dangers of Neglect: Recognizing the Signs
This time of year, the heat can be relentless, and the consequences of neglect will take their toll faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind. Wilting leaves and dusty or cracked soil are *ahem* obvious signs that our plants are thirsty for attention. In relationships, the signs of neglect may not be as obvious, but they are just as critical. A lack of communication, growing distance, and unresolved conflicts can leave a relationship feeling parched and fragile. Which one of our friends have we not spoken to in a while and for no other reason than that, there’s a palpable tension? I’ve got at least one I can think of, and I love that person dearly. It happens!
It’s important to recognize these signs early and take action. Just as we would water a wilting plant, we must also address the needs of our relationships. A note to say hello, open conversations, spending quality time together, and actively listening (aka putting our phone down) can help revive and strengthen our bonds.
Consistent watering is a rewarding process that requires patience and dedication. Be sure to celebrate the small victories. Acknowledge the joy, the shared achievements, and the mutual growth. These are the blooms, each one a testament to the care and love you've invested.
Remember, just like the uniqueness of every plant, so is every relationship. Some may require more frequent watering, while others thrive with deeper, less frequent water. The key is to understand the needs of your garden and your loved ones, and to nurture them with consistency and love. Say it louder for those of us in the back the key is to understand the needs of your garden and your loved ones. Again, every relationship is different, and sometimes they change as people grow, so it’s important to check in on what those needs are.
As we sweat it out in our gardens this August, let’s commit to being consistent gardeners in our relationships, watering them with love, attention, and care. Consistency is not about grand gestures; it's about the daily, intentional acts that show we care.
I’ll leave you with this quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:
- "Kind hearts are the gardens, Kind thoughts are the roots, Kind words are the flowers, Kind deeds are the fruits, Take care of your garden And keep out the weeds, Fill it with sunshine, Kind words, and Kind deeds"